


An Assholes Guide to the Gods of the Universe

by Probably_Not_Batman



Series: The Gods of the New Universe [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C, F/F, F/M, Lots of dealing with god stuff, M/M, Multi, Post Game, What happens when kids become gods, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 13:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18074537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Probably_Not_Batman/pseuds/Probably_Not_Batman
Summary: A young reader who can't remember much runs off with an old book and a head full of memories that aren't theirs. Shenanigans ensue as the audience is clued in to what just might be a bit of worldbuilding.





	An Assholes Guide to the Gods of the Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome! This guide is meant as a companion to Where We Ended Up in order to introduce how the gods of this universe work! At the end of the chapter are the gods set to be introduced and you (the readers) can let me know which god our dear MSPA reader should take a look at!

A young reader stands in a temple, the light of this planet’s moon in just the right place above the building to let its silvery light filter through the hole in the ceiling. The light bounces off of the pool at the center, the tiles at the bottom reflecting the distorted light over the walls. Footsteps echo off of the marble as the figure crosses the room, quick glances cast over their shoulder. A book sits in their arms, thick and heavy and bound with leather. The pages look aged, but the writing is as clear as ever.

It’s a book they know well, probably better than they should. Each page tells a story, the story of the God it depicts, but for them it tells so much more. They trot down the stairs, wincing with every slap of their shoes against the floor. The others would be angry that the book was gone, but they needed the chance to see this, to let themselves see what the book wanted to tell them.

What it wanted them to remember.

**> Enter Name**

Your name doesn’t matter right now. It hasn’t mattered for a long time, although maybe longer than you had previously thought.

**> Reader: Run**

You pull the book closer, your hood pulled up against the wind. It’s a hoodie you’ve had for a while, bearing a sign you’d long since forgotten the importance of. You’ve had it for as long as you can remember, as long as you’d been working at the temple.

It had been your job to keep the marble shining, the altars clean. To clear away the old offerings and keep the water sparkling. You had a past you couldn’t remember, but you were fine with that. Or well, you had been.

Until the Gods had appeared.

It was the kind of thing people talked about in hushed voices and prayed they’d be alive to see. Something you only thought about in passing until a flash of blue light deposited a figure in front of you. The Altar of the Trickster suddenly had a raven haired man sitting on it and with blue eyes found you, not even the sound of the cleaning bucket you’d been holding crashing to the ground could pull you from your shock.

He’d grinned shakily and greeted you, though his attention was soon consumed by the others that begun appearing. Your heart hammered against your ribs as you hurried out, the water that was barely beginning to dry on your jeans reminding you that you’d left your supplies. You couldn’t bring yourself to go back as an almost terrifying thought welled up inside you.

You knew those eyes.

You shake the feeling away and focus instead on the forest in front of you. In all honesty, you should be scared of wandering into those unfamiliar trees at night, but the only thing in you is a single-minded determination you didn’t know you were capable of.

The leaves rustle above you, whether from the wind or from creatures scampering through the branches you’re not quite sure. Sticks and brambles catch at your jeans, but you don’t let yourself stop. You aren’t quite sure where you’re going, what you’re looking for, but some instinct keeps you going forward.

The trees are growing thicker, branches and leaves blocking the moonlight from illuminating your path. You stumble blindly forward towards the only stream of silver you can see ahead of you, tripping out of the trees like the clumsy asshole you are.

Cool grass tickles your cheek as you sit up, squinting at the new light as you examine the clearing. It’s almost too perfect, a circle of short grass with a flat white stone jutting out of the ground. An unease creeps up your spine, but your gut is telling you that this is it.

You carefully get to your feet, trying to avoid dropping the book. Somehow you manage to do it, chewing on your lip as you sit down on the waiting stone. The book is warm in your hands, a sound almost like rushing water in your ears.

You finally look down at the cover, at the golden words etched into the thick leather.

**> Reader: Open The Asshole’s Guide to the Gods of the Universe**

The pages make a quiet rustling noise as you flip it open, brushing your fingertips over the paper. The water sounds get louder as you take a deep breath. You open to the first section and close your eyes, letting the sound envelop you.

**> Breathe in.**

You’re no longer on a chilly rock, holding a book to moonlight.

**> Breathe out. **

The sounds turn to water around you, your body gently bobbing as you let yourself be carried down the stream. You’ve done this before, in a memory you can’t quite reach, in a life you can’t quite remember.

**> Breathe in.**

You can see the river before you, calmly splitting into eight streams. You watch them approach, only the feel of the paper under your palms keeping you grounded.

**> Breathe out. **

Each stream leads to a feeling, each feeling to a God.

**> Breathe in.**

The First Gods. Not the first to be created, but the first to appear.

**> Breathe out.**

Eight streams.

**> Breathe in.**

Eight Gods.

**> Breathe out.**

You just have to choose.

**> Reader: Choose**

**The Path of the Trickster**

**The Path of the Minstrel**

**The Path of the Visionary**

**The Path of the Gardener**

**The Path of the Entrepreneur**

**The Path of the Protector**

**The Path of the Healer**

**The Path of the Wildman**


End file.
